Emmett's Day of Fun
by emonessxvampiress
Summary: What happens when Bella is left home with Emmett? OOC Two-shot?
1. Chapter 1

**Bella POV**

"Oh, Bella!" I knew that voice. He was planning something**. " **Yes, Emmett?" I said warily as I walked into the Cullen's living room.

"Bella I have something to tell you..." He trailed off, not because of hesitation, but because he saw a fly and knew he just had to kill it. "Sorry, I just had to kill it. Anyway, Alice finally got Eddie to go on one of her shopping trips, and because this moment is so rare, they're gonna be gone for two days." _Two days. Wow._

_"_Two days? He didn't even say goodbye." My voice faltered at the end."Yeah, well, Alice had to grab the chance before he changed his mind."

"Where's the rest of your family?" I asked, needing a witness to Emmett's craziness."Well, Carlisle has to work, Esme is grocery shopping in Beijing, Rosalie's angry, and Jasper is in Edward's room playing with his CDs." All alone with Emmett. Almost. Shudder. "Oh." Just the thought of being alone with Emmett.

**Emmett POV**

_Yes! Alone with Bella, my favorite human._ Bella said she needed a 'human minute', so this gave me plenty of time to plan out my plan to get Bella drunk. I bet she would be even funnier while not coherent, if not clumsier. I needed root beer bottles, and a good movie to keep her entertained. Yes, my plan would work.

**Bella POV**

When I came out of the bathroom from my 'human minute', Emmett had set th eliving room to look like movie night.

"So Emmett, what movie are we watching?"

"Romeo and Juliet."

"Wow, Emmett, I didn't know you even liked those kind of movies." What's his motive?

"I have my moments." He smiled a very wicked grin.

**Emmett POV**

In truth, I hated Romeo and Juliet, but it was the perfect movie to distract Bella.

And if this brilliant plan didn't work, it would still be fun for me to watch Bella slur Romeo's lines.

"Emmett, why are there root beer bottles all over the living room floor?"

She better not guess my plan.

"And why do I smell somethink rank? Ew." It did smell bad to me, but I thought that was just because I was a vampire. I guess not.

"Bella, stop with the twenty questions or my brain will explode. And no, I do not smell anyhting in particular."_ Except massive amounts of Budweiser._

"Whatever, Emmett, can we just watch the movie? Put that DVD in and come sit on the couch with me." _Not yet._

"Wait, do you want to try something?"

"Sure Emmett, what?"

**Bella POV**

I really needed the movie to distract me of Edward's leaving, so I would agree to anything at this point. Basically, he just told me to drink one bottle of root beer every time that Romeo says Juliet. Sounds easy enough, right?

_2 hours later and 13 bottles of 'root beer'..._

"Emmett, what is in this root beer, I'm starting to feel dizzy and the room feels like rubber." He just smiled at me and said,

"Nothing Bella, nothing at all." For some reason I didn't even have the need to pry. But I did have the urge to...

"Emmett, do you guys have a karaoke machine?" His eyes lit up with laughter, and he went to go get it.

**Emmett POV**

As soon as I heard that Bella wanted to do karoake, I jumped on the chance for some humor. I was there and back in a matter of seconds. I was so excited, I just went ahead and plugged it in to the TV and also chose a CD from the stack in the corner.

**Edward POV**

I was missing time with my precious Bella, my angel, because of Alice and her sports car along with her love of shopping.

as we were about to go into a store, alice stopped and got a glazed look over her eyes. A vision.

Then she started laughing. I couldn't venture into her mind because she was blocking me from whatever she was seeing. She soon stopped laughing because of the stares we were getting. She still didn't let me in. "Alice, tell me what you saw." She looked at me and faked thinking. "Nope. Dear Brother, you will just have to figure out that on your own." Then she walked away skipping. I had no choice but to follow her.

**Alice POV**

Bella dancing drunk was the funniest thing I have ever seen. I will never let Edward see that though. He would be furious.

**Emmett POV**

Bella was just starting to sway just standing. Oh well.

Then she started singing. You could barely understand her.

_Sit tight  
I'm gonna need you to keep time  
Just snap snap snap your fingers for me.  
Good, good  
Now we're making some progress  
Come on, just tap tap tap your toes to the beat._

And I believe  
This may call for  
A proper introduction  
And well can't you see  
I'm the narrarator  
And this is the prologue.

Swear to shake it up  
If you swear to listen  
Oh, we're still so young  
Desperate for attention  
I aim to be your eyes  
Trophy boys trophy wives.

Swear to shake it up  
If you swear to listen  
Oh, we're still so young  
Desperate for attention  
I aim to be your eyes  
Trophy boys trophy wives.

Applause, applause  
No wait wait  
To the studio audience  
I have an announcement to make  
It seems the artists these days  
Are not who you think  
So we'll pick back up on that  
On another page.

And I believe  
This may call for  
A proper introduction  
And well don't you see  
I'm the narrarator  
And this is just the prologue

Swear to shake it up  
If you swear to listen  
Oh, we're still so young  
Desperate for attention  
I aim to be your eyes  
Trophy boys trophy wives.

Swear to shake it up  
If you swear to listen  
Oh, we're still so young  
Desperate for attention  
I aim to be your eyes  
Trophy boys trophy wives.

Swear to shake it up  
You swear to listen  
Swear to shake it up  
You swear to listen  
Swear to shake it up  
(Swear to shake it up)

Swear to shake it up  
If you swear to listen  
Oh, we're still so young  
Desperate for attention  
I aim to be your eyes  
Trophy boys trophy wives.

Swear to shake it up  
If you swear to listen  
Oh, we're still so young  
Desperate for attention  
I aim to be  
Your eyes

She was head banging like crazy too, it was so hilarious. When she was finished, we both cracked up. But then I stopped when I heard a thud. Bella was unconsious in the floor.

Then I heard him.

"Emmett, me and Alice are home early! Where's Bella?"

I was in deep trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

Characters:

**A/N: Okay, the people who actually reviewed the chapter want to see Emmett get in trouble, I will continue it.**

**Ps, The song is called The Difference between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press. By PATD.**

**Edward POV**

We walked in and instantly noticed that something was wrong. There was a faint smell of beer under our noses. It was covered up by the very strong smell of Alice's vanilla perfume, which only made her angry at the fact that Emmett would be the only one stupid enough to use that stuff. Alice could be menacing when she wanted to.

"Emmett, me and Alice are home early! Where's Bella?" Alice rolled her eyes at my not-so-subtle question. I tried to locate his mind and came up with this:

_Hi, Barbie!  
Hi, Ken!  
You wanna go for a ride?  
Sure, Ken!  
Jump in!  
_

_Chorus:  
I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation…._

I tuned out before it got any farther than that. He was trying to hide something. And he only sang Barbie girl when it was something big. Don't ask me why, he just does. I found Jasper's 'voice' in my bedroom. He was listening to my CD's.

I went upstairs, ready to yell at him, and almost had a firm grip on him, when he thought, _Wait! You don't have time to kill me! Emmett did something even worse! Go to his room._ I let go of him and went swiftly to Emmett's room. What I saw really was worse.

**Jasper POV**

I really did not want to rat Emmett out, but he was ready to kill me! You saw it right? Er, well, not really saw. Emmett was going to get a mouthful. I was probably going to get beat up by him, once he found out that I ratted him out to Edward.

**Emmett POV**

This was not part of my plan! Edward was not supposed to come! Then I remembered that he has a freaky mind power thing where he can read minds. I launched into Barbie Girl once I realized that he was probably reading my mind right now.

I was glad I had covered the scent of beer with one of Alice's perfume. I would probably get shit for it, but it was the only thing at hand.

I was frantically thinking of places to put Bella while I sang an encore of Barbie Girl. In the closet wouldn't work. And neither would under the covers. Maybe behind the Plasma? Oh! The bed! I could put her under the bed! She would easily fit.

Just as I was putting my plan in action, there goes Edward ruining it.

"What are you doing to my girlfriend!?" He had a look of pure rage, so I decided not to push my luck.

"Uh, she was looking for something under the bed and fainted?" He didn't believe my totally believable lie. She IS Bella.

"Sure she was. So does that explain the smell of alcohol on her breath?" Shoot, I forgot that.

"She, uh, drank mouthwash?" Okay, that lie sucked.

"Give me my girlfriend." He put his hands out for Bella, and I handed her over. Right on time, when she landed in Edward's arms, she woke up. Perfect timing.

"Where am I? Why do I feel so dizzy? Edward? Emmett?" So many questions. It made my brain hurt.

"Emmett that would be your cue." Edward looked funny to me. He was trying not to scare Bella, but still trying to look menacing to me. Alice came storming through the door.

"Emmett! Why is my most expensive bottle of perfume half empty!?" I had to hand it to her; I never knew she had that pitch of a voice.

She looked so scary; I literally cringed from the thought that she was wearing stilettos, which hurt badly. Along with her vampire strength, she was horrible.

"Well, IgotBelladrunkandshesungasongandfaintedandIusedyourperfumetocoverupthesmell." They both pounced on me after setting Bella in the living room to watch something loud.

I am pretty sure my arm will come back.

**A/n: Emmett is crazy, right? Sorry for ripping his arm out, but it had to end somehow. Jasper was there the whole time and managed not to get killed. Yay for him! Please review and I'll give you an Edward Cullen ice cream cone. Complete with fake fangs!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THESE CHARACTERS! STEPHENIE MEYER DOES. I DON'T OWN THE ALPHABET, EITHER.**


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